Brolex
*Not affiliated with any actual luxury brands. Or punctuality.
The watch that tells time... sometimes.
Warning: May cause excessive watch checking. Time displayed is an artistic interpretation.
*Craftsmanship may vary by cosmic alignment
**Valid in alternate dimensions only
***Awards pending review by imaginary committee
Our "Luxury" Collection
For those who value the appearance of punctuality more than actual timekeeping. Each piece is a conversation starter, especially when you're late.
Subwrecker
Water-resistant up to three lattes.
The ultimate diving companion for coffee shop adventures.
- •Caffeine-proof coating
- •Barista-approved design
- •Latte-depth rating
Free delivery
Datejust-ish
Knows the date… give or take a day.
Perfect for those who live in the moment, or yesterday.
- •Approximate date display
- •Timezone confusion
- •Calendar-adjacent
Free delivery
Yacht-Mess
For captains of group chats.
Navigate social waters with questionable authority.
- •Message notification
- •Social compass
- •Drama-resistant
Free delivery
Dayfaker
Pretends to know what day it is.
For professionals who wing it with style.
- •Confidence display
- •Fake-it-till-you-make-it mode
- •Bluff detection
Free delivery
Airbluff
High-flying looks, grounded accuracy.
Soar through meetings with questionable precision.
- •Altitude estimation
- •Turbulence indicator
- •Landing gear optional
Free delivery
Delaytona
Always fashionably late to the finish line.
A racing chronograph that thinks pit stops are for power-naps. Perfect for drivers whose fastest lap is the one in their mind.
- •Chrono-Lag™ timing (adds drama to every second)
- •Procrastination bezel (spins... eventually)
- •Lap memory—when it feels like it
Free delivery